It’s been a while, I know. But I’m back with a new book review! FRAYED by Laura Pavlov was released today and I’m here to tell you why I loved it. I received an ARC (advance reader copy) from the author in exchange for my honest review. My ARCs have been so hit or miss lately that I was a smidge wary going into this read, but this book did not disappoint!
Little Gold Book
Frayed by Laura Pavlov
Genre: Romance – Contemporary (YA) Format: Kindle eBook Date Started: March 12, 2021 Date Finished: March 14, 2021 Rating: 4.5/5 star
By Its Cover
If I had to supply a math equation to summarize this book it would be: Bad boy + good girl = beautiful love story.
Frayed brings us to Willow Springs, TX, a small lakeside town with lots of drama and quite a mix of residents. The main characters are Adelaide Edington – high school senior with straight A’s and her whole life planned for her by her mother – and Jett Stone – star quarterback from the wrong side of town with a chip on his shoulder. Though seemingly opposites, the pair fits together in ways neither imagined possible.
In My Book
When I read the synopsis for Frayed, I knew I needed to read it. Even though I don’t typically read YA (young adult) romance, something about Adelaide and Jett called to me. They are young, yes, but the love that grows between them is once in a lifetime.
My favorite male characters are those who are strong yet vulnerable, and Jett fits perfectly in that category. His life hasn’t been easy and it would be easy for him to write off everyone in the town that has treated him and his family poorly for his whole life, but Addy brings out a side in him that is so powerful and honest.
Adelaide, or Ace as Jett calls her (I love a good nickname!), has always done what her parents, specifically her mother, have expected of her. But as she grows closer with Jett, she realizes the power in chasing her own dreams instead of someone else’s. With Jett by her side, steadily encouraging but never forcing his opinion on her, Adelaide’s confidence grows and she starts to live her life for herself.
To Close the Book
As with all good romance stories, my one big complaint is that I wanted more! I enjoyed Adelaide and Jett’s love story and I want to see how they continue to grow together over time. The good news is, since this is the first book in the series, we’ll likely see them again!
Welcome to the World of Regency & Victorian Romance!
Netflix’s “Bridgerton” took the streaming world by storm last month, quickly becoming the service’s top original show with views by over 82 million subscribers. Whether it was the instrumental pop songs, the historical fashion, or the steamy romance, viewers can’t get enough of the series.
As a lover of historical romance novels, I am delighted to see that “Bridgerton” has piqued the interest of many. In the past decade, I have read nearly 100 books set in England in the 1800s. It’s a fascinating time in history and the perfect setting for many of my favorite romance tropes. This century is composed of two well-known periods, the “Regency” period, from 1790 to 1830, and the “Victorian” era, from 1837 to 1901. Though only two hundred years ago, society and culture looked entirely different during this period compared to modern times. Novels set in the era highlight the harsh expectations set on women, from purity to demure behavior to complete reliance on men.
If you are interested in experiencing this time in history, I highly suggest checking out the historical romance authors I have detailed below. While Julia Quinn, author of the “Bridgerton” books that inspired the series, is a talented author, these novelists are my go-to when I’m craving an exciting romance full of compelling conflict and beautiful settings.
Stephanie Laurens
With over 100 published books, Stephanie Laurens is a prolific author whose books are mostly set in the Regency period. Her books’ heroes are often soldiers returning from war with France matched with strong-willed heroines, such as those in the Bastion Club series. She has also created an entire world with her Cynster series, with 28 books so far and likely more to come. I enjoy long series like these since there is a sense of familiarity when reading, even though each book is unique.
Johanna Lindsey
Before her untimely passing in 2019, Johanna Lindsey wrote novels set in various periods, from the Middle Ages to the Wild West. Her most popular series centers around the Malory-Anderson family, set in the Regency period as it heads toward the Victorian era. This twelve book series also has some books set in America, which offers a look into the foundling country between the Revolutionary and Civil Wars. My only gripe about the Malory-Anderson series is that some books featured heroines with mystical powers, which is not my taste.
Lorraine Heath
A self-proclaimed lover of “rebels, scoundrels, and rogues”, Lorraine Heath’s novels are a steamy mix of stubborn heroes and bold heroines. I have read her London’s Greatest Lovers series at least four times now, and I’m gearing up for another re-read sometime this year. Most of Heath’s novels are set in the second half of the 19th century, with male characters returning from the brutal Crimean War or facing economic upheaval due to the Industrial Revolution. Heath will soon be introducing a new series, Once Upon a Dukedom, with the first book set to release on March 30, 2021. I received an advanced copy of this upcoming title and devoured it within two days!
Lisa Kleypas
If I had to pick a favorite historical romance author, it would be Lisa Kleypas. Her books are the ones I consistently re-read because of her ability to create complex and heart-wrenching stories. Another trend of hers I enjoy is that she doesn’t focus solely on characters from the wealthy noble class. Her Bow Street Runners and Gamblers of Craven’s series are two of my most read series. I am also currently in the process of reading her most recent series, which centers around the Ravenel family. To be honest, I was a bit hesitant to start this set of books because I have found that sometimes authors start to phone it in a bit once they’ve written more than twenty books. But that’s not the case here at all! The Ravenels have drawn me in with their strong and stubborn personalities, and I can’t wait for the seventh book in the series to be released later this year.
Now that you’ve heard my favorites tell me… Who are your favorite historical romance authors?
From one Wordo to another, thanks for tuning in! See you next time!
It’s Pub Day for one of my recent reads, Love At First by Kate Clayborn. I received a free advanced copy of this book from NetGalley on behalf of the publisher Kensington Books in exchange for my honest review. This was a sweet read featuring a lovely cast of characters, though it started off rather slow for me.
Little Gold Book
Love At First by Kate Clayborn
Genre: Romance – Contemporary Format: eBook Date Started: 2/16/21 Date Finished: 2/22/21 Rating: 4/5 star
By Its Cover
Sparks. Sabotage. Adorable but nosy neighbors. This enemies-to-lovers romance novel will have you laughing and smiling! When Will inherits an apartment from his estranged uncle, he decides to list it for short-term rental. Little does he know that he’s now part of a unique group of neighbors who have become family over the years. Nora, spokeswoman for the building, plots to ruin Will’s plan before he ruins her adopted family and beloved apartment complex. But is the heat that develops between Will and Nora a result of anger, or perhaps something more?
In My Book
Contemporary romance has been hit or miss for me lately, so I was a bit apprehensive when I started this book. I haven’t read any of Kate Clayborn’s books previously and didn’t have any on my TBR, so she was an unknown to me. Sometimes this doesn’t work out so well, but this time it did!
Kate Clayborn developed a sense of community in her book, one that I wish I could join! The neighbors were each unique, but I could feel that their love and respect for one another was genuine. Watching Will fall in love with not just Nora but the whole building was heartwarming.
I have only one real complaint. The pacing in Will & Nora’s relationship was slow to start, with the romance not starting until halfway through the book. This left the rest of the book feeling a bit rushed, as I would have liked to see them find their way in the fledgling relationship more. I also didn’t fully understand their pasts and fears of relationships until they started exploring their relationship’s romantic side. Sometimes, I felt a bit annoyed with the characters because their motives were unclear to me. Now that I know this, it wouldn’t bother me so much during a re-read, so don’t let it stop you!
This was a sweet romance novel well-balanced in romance, humor, trauma, and growth. It felt realistic, like these could be your neighbors or friends. A great read when you need a laugh and a pick-me-up mixed together.
To Close the Book
This is a book that I would love to see as a series so that the characters can come to life. I can picture them each in my head so perfectly, as the author did an excellent job of developing a backstory for each character, even the more minor ones.
It’s pub day for Choosing You by Stacy Finz! I was lucky enough to receive an ARC (advanced readers copy) of this book through NetGalley last month. This was a great first experience with NetGalley because I absolutely adored this book. Keep reading for my full Choosing You book review.
Little Gold Book
Choosing You by Stacy Finz
Genre: Contemporary Romance Format: eBook Date Started: January 17, 2021 Date Finished: January 18, 2021 Rating: 4.5/5 star
By Its Cover
Set in small-town Nugget, CA, about an hour west of Reno, Choosing You tells a beautiful story of finding love after loss and despair. Widowed Bryann and divorced Ethan are brought together when Brynn’s son Henry becomes Ethan’s pediatric orthopedic patient. Despite coming from very different worlds and a taboo stigma on their relationship, Brynn and Ethan fall deeply in love and help each other heal from their painful pasts.
In My Book
In Choosing You, you follow two people who come from such different worlds yet fall utterly in love with one another. The build-up to their romance is slow but full of sparks between the main characters, Brynn and Ethan. There is plenty of conflict, but realistically so, not overdone. I recently read an article that said something along the lines of the best romance writers make you think there’s no way the central couple could end up together, even though readers pick up the book knowing they will. The author did exactly that, and in a beautiful, heart-wrenching way.
I don’t often read romance novels in which one of the main characters is a parent, so the fact that both Brynn and Ethan had children added an additional element of complexity to this story. Not only did they have to make decisions based on their feelings toward each other, but they also had to keep the best interests of their children in mind. This is especially true for Ethan, as he struggles with whether or not to reconcile with his ex-wife.
This was my first time reading a Stacy Finz novel, and I was a little nervous about hopping into the 11th book of the Nugget series. Those nerves were for nothing, though – I was able to dive into life in Nugget without needing to have the backstory of the previous books. There were hints to other stories, but that just made me want to read the rest of the series! Finz also hinted at a possible next story without letting it take away from the current one. In fact, it drew me in yet again.
I honestly don’t have any negative things to say about this book. The pacing felt right, the story felt realistic, and of course, there was a happy ending, as is generally the case in the romance genre. I’ll surely re-read it in the future when I need a little pick-me-up of a beautiful love story.
To Close the Book
Most of my romance reading may be relegated to historical periods, but it is nice to visit the modern world of love from time to time. I am grateful to have found NetGalley, as I may not have stumbled upon this book otherwise. I may even check out some of the other books in the series since Nugget sounds like a special place full of love and strong characters.
Welcome to my January 2021 reading round-up! First of all, can you believe January is already over? I feel like Christmas was just yesterday! Even though I’m still in disbelief, today I’m sharing the details of what I read in 2021. Hint: it was a lot! For me, at least 🙂
January 2021 Stats
After several years of reading only sporadically, 2020 was the year I found my way back to books. I read 34 books last year but hit a major reading slump from the end of the summer until mid-December. When it came to a 2021 reading goal, I wanted to set an achievable target, so I settled on fifty. After reading ten books in the first month of the year, I realize I may want to up that goal!
As an auditor by day, I love my numbers. I wanted to share a few stats about my January 2021 reads…
Genre
I’m finally owning that I love romance novels! I’ve always felt that I should be somewhat embarrassed by the number of romance books I read and that I should try to read more “sophisticated” genres. I believe this train of thought led me to lose my love of reading for a long time, because I was forcing myself to read things I didn’t connect with. Even as recently as last year, my reading slump began when I tried to make myself read books I thought I “should” read, rather than what I actually wanted to read.
As you can see from the stats above, I stuck mostly to my preferred romance novels. I did start off the year with a mystery/suspense novel and listened to a memoir. I feel like this is a good balance of books for me. I also didn’t find myself losing my reading mojo so much. I only slowed down when I got sick for a week or so toward the end of the month.
Format
For romance novels, I generally prefer Kindle copies. I think this is because I read so many of them, and read them so quickly, that my apartment would be taken over with books if I owned physical copies of them all. The two hardcover books were from Book of the Month, which I enjoy because they’re special BOTM editions! I have found that I like to listen to the audiobook version of memoirs because hearing the author narrate their own story adds another level of connection to the experience.
Genre: Mystery Date Started: January 1, 2021 Date Finished: January 3, 2021 Rating: 4/5 stars Read my review here.
I wanted to start 2021 off with something different and The Night Swim fit the bill perfectly. This book got, and still has, me thinking about how rape and sexual assault are viewed in today’s society. I knocked off one star because I didn’t feel connected to the main character and the pacing was a little bit slow for my taste.
Genre: Romance Date Started: January 9, 2021 Date Finished: January 9, 2021 Rating: 5/5 stars Read my review here.
I stumbled upon this book, and I am so glad I did! I’m picky when it comes to romance novels, so it’s tough to find authors whose books I connect with consistently. As you’ll see, I read four of Devney Perry’s books this month! Oh, and book two in this series, The Bluff, releases Thursday February 4th!
Genre: Romance Date Started: January 10, 2021 Date Finished: January 11, 2021 Rating: 4/5 stars
What a sweet romance novel! The first in the Runaways series, this romance novel drew me in. I’d even go as far as giving it 4.5 stars. It told the story of a strong female lead looking to start over when she stumbles into an adorable town in West Virginia and the arms of a hunky mechanic.
Genre: Romance Date Started: January 12, 2021 Date Finished: January 14, 2021 Rating: 4/5 stars
This was my Book of the Month choice for January! I may post a more comprehensive review on here soon, but it was a sweet modern romance. The relationship/marriage of convenience trope is one I usually enjoy, and I think the author used it to her advantage to create a fun story.
This was a BOTM early release, and the book will be released on March 15, 2021!
Genre: Romance Date Started: January 14, 2021 Date Finished: January 17, 2021 Rating: 3/5 stars
Since the Netflix series Bridgerton was recently released, I wanted to read the first book in the series before watching it. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it either. The pacing seemed really off to me. I don’t want to spoil too much in this post, but it felt like the love story alternated between rushed and drawn out. Three stars is a generous rating since it was a slog for me to get through.
I haven’t given up on the Bridgertons entirely, though. I know from experience that just because I don’t like one book in a series doesn’t mean I won’t like another. I’ve also enjoyed previous Julia Quinn books, so I may give book 2 a try sometime in the future!
Genre: Romance Date Started: January 17, 2021 Date Finished: January 18, 2021 Rating: 5/5 stars Read my Goodreads review.
I recently signed up for NetGalley, a site where you can request a free Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) of a book in exchange for an honest review. Choosing You was my first ARC from NetGalley and it was a great pick!
This quick read tells a story of love after loss and making sacrifices for the life you want and deserve. It’s a book I would go to if I needed a pick-me-up and a few laughs. Although this was the eleventh book in the Nugget series, it was easy to read as a stand-alone without the background of Nugget’s other residents.
Genre: Romance Date Started: January 19, 2021 Date Finished: January 21, 2021 Rating: 4/5 stars
This is book two in the Runaways series, and I didn’t love it as much as the first. It leans more toward a 3.5-star rating for me. I felt like I didn’t get to know or connect with the male lead in this book as much as I would have liked. The relationship fell into place a little more quickly than I was expecting as well.
Genre: Memoir Date Started: January 18, 2021 Date Finished: January 22, 2021 Rating: 5/5 stars Read my review here.
I won’t repeat my whole review here, but I will say I loved this book! I didn’t know what to expect for a memoir about farm life from a celebrity, but it was great! You don’t have to be familiar with Hilarie Burton’s career at all to be captivated by her book. She narrates the audible version, and hearing her emotions significantly added to my listening experience.
Genre: Romance Date Started: January 22, 2021 Date Finished: January 23, 2021 Rating: 4/5 stars
I’d give a solid 3.75 stars for the third book in the Runaways series. I felt the male lead was a little obtuse in how he viewed the female lead, and his sudden change in feelings felt a bit unrealistic. But I enjoyed the banter between the two and thought it carried the spirit of the series well.
Genre: Romance Date Started: January 27, 2021 Date Finished: January 30, 2021 Rating: 5/5 stars
Hands-down, Lisa Kleypas is my favorite regency romance author. I have read over twenty of her novels! I was a bit apprehensive of starting her most recent series, The Ravenels, since sometimes authors start to phone it in after two dozen or so great books. But this one did not disappoint!
I’m hoping to write a more detailed review soon, so I’ll just lay out the highlights. A man who thinks he cannot love, a woman treated poorly by her now-deceased husband, and a family full of excitement and intrigue. I can’t wait to start the next book in the series!
And with that, January 2021 has come to a close. I can’t wait to see what I’ll read this month!
From one Wordo to another, thanks for tuning in! See you next time!
Since I haven’t commuted to work since March, my Audible account hasn’t been getting much love. I decided to change that in 2021 and listen to audiobooks while doing my mundane tasks at work. Memoirs are my favorite genre for audiobooks, so I decided to start there. My first (full) listen of 2021 was The Rural Diaries written and narrated by Hilarie Burton. It certainly delivered!
TRIGGER WARNING:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
This book discusses infertility and child loss.
Little Gold Book
The Rural Diaries: Love, Livestock and Big Life Lessons Down on Mischief Farm by Hilarie Burton
Genre: Memoir/biography Format: Audiobook, narrated by the author Date Started: January 18, 2021 Date Finished: January 22, 2021 Rating: 5/5 star
By Its Cover
Hilarie Burton, of One Tree Hill fame, details her life out of the spotlight in her memoir The Rural Diaries. From her relationship, to becoming a mom, to balancing a career, to infertility and child loss, to life on her farm in Rhinebeck, NY, Hilarie lays it all out. You almost forget that Hilarie is a celebrity as her memoir covers all of her “normal” life experiences.
In My Book
I didn’t know what to expect when I downloaded this memoir. The title called to me, since my husband and I always joke about living on a farm someday. I knew that Hilarie was married to Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who I’ve loved since he appeared as Denny on Grey’s Anatomy. Over the years since leaving One Tree Hill, I had seen Hilarie pop up in some shows and Christmas movies. But other than that, I didn’t know much about Hilarie Burton.
This book blew me away, to be quite frank. It wasn’t about the glitz and glam about Hollywood life as a celebrity. Instead, Hilarie got raw with her life and experiences. She didn’t shy away from the difficulties she faced and didn’t sugarcoat things. I found Hilarie’s perspective on life to be inspiring. She faced every challenge with positivity and grew from it. Her life may not be as she planned it, but she has loved her journey and loves her life and family.
The small town charm of her cabin and farm warmed my heart. As someone who would love to live on a farm, I enjoyed the anecdotes of farm-life. Hearing about how Hilarie, her family, and her friends worked to give back to their community and add to the small town spirit was uplifting, and something I could totally see myself doing!
Hilarie’s narration of her memoir made this listen even more special. I could feel her emotion as she discussed the difficult times in her life and the happiness as she reminisced on the happy moments. The chapters on infertility, child loss, and her rainbow baby were so emotional to listen to, as her pain was palpable. Although I don’t want to be a mother myself, I’ve seen many women in my life struggle with infertility. Hilarie’s approach to this difficult topic was beautiful, as she gave a raw recounting of her years-long struggle to have a second child.
To Close the Book
I thoroughly enjoyed this listen. It was fairly short, as far as audiobooks go, at just over seven hours. I listened to it within a work week, breaking it into one to two hour chunks. If you’re looking for an inspiring story of real life and perseverance, I’d highly recommend The Rural Diaries!
In honor of the second book in the Calamity, Montana series The Bluff being released next week, today I’m sharing my review of the first book, The Bribe. This was my second read of 2021 and I loved it!
Little Gold Book The Bribe by Willa Nash
Genre: Romance Date Started: January 9, 2021 Date Finished: January 9, 2021 Rating: 5/5 star
By Its Cover
Talk about a steamy cover! But don’t worry, this book isn’t all X-rated sex scenes. Although there are some, The Bribe centers on Lucy, a famous country music singer in hiding, and Duke, the sheriff of the small town in Montana that Lucy chose as her hiding spot. Chemistry burns between them instantly. As the romance between the two heats up, so does the mystery of what led Lucy to change her name and hide in Montana.
In My Book
The main characters, Duke and Lucy, start off with a meet-cute when Duke helps extricate Lucy and her BFF Everly from a herd of bison they encountered while hiking a trail in Montana. The spark between the two is instant and even though they depart without as much as a kiss, you know there’s going to be so much more between them. One of my favorite things about The Bribe is the chemistry between Duke and Lucy. It’s one thing to tell readers that the characters are attracted to one another; it’s a different thing entirely for a reader to be able to feel that connection leaping off the pages.
Pacing is something I often find off in romance books. It’s either too slow and drawn out or too fast and unrealistic. In this book, I thought the author Devney Perry did a great job of letting the relationship evolve between the main love interests. The lust was instant but the love was built on a strong foundation.
I enjoyed the conflicts in the story as well. There wasn’t just the main conflict of why Lucy was in hiding; there was also tension and disruption from Duke’s almost-stepson as well. This minor storyline kept the plot interesting as the major conflict developed, and the two intertwined for the climax of the book when Lucy came face-to-face with her stalker and would-be killer.
Perry laid out the foundation for a series set in Calamity, Montana quite nicely. By having the female lead be a newcomer to town, I got to explore the local attractions and meet the townsfolk through her eyes. I was introduced to the characters that would star in future books, but their presence didn’t take away from the story at hand – another complaint of mine for romance series!
To Close the Book
Instagram served me well by leading me to this book. Its sequel came up on my feed, as it’s the featured book in the February Bookish Box, who I follow on IG. As I pondered over whether to splurge on the box, I realized there was a first book of the series! Available on Kindle Unlimited, I downloaded The Bribe and read it in an afternoon. I loved it so much that I purchased a Kindle copy so I’d always have access. I’ve already pre-ordered the second book in the series!
One other thing to note – I haven’t talked about this yet because it just happened this month but I was (finally!) officially diagnosed with ADHD. I’m still wrapping my head around what that means for me, and I’ll be sure to share more about it in some personal essays in the future. What’s relevant here is that the day I read this book was my first time ever taking Adderall, which may have contributed to my ability to read a whole book in a day! I’m hoping this medication can help me focus on reading better – something I have struggled with a lot in recent years.
Thanks for checking out my book review of The Night Swim, by Megan Goldin. It’s the first book I read in 2020, out of my goal of 50!
TRIGGER WARNING:
.
.
.
.
.
.
Please note, this book centers on two violent rape cases.
Little Gold Book
The Night Swim by Megan Goldin
Genre: Mystery
Date Started: January 1, 2021
Date Finished: January 3, 2021
Rating: 4/5 Stars
By Its Cover
The Night Swim chronicles the interwoven tales of two tragic events in the seaside town of Neapolis, twenty-five years apart. The main character, Rachel Krall, is a popular true crime podcast host in town to cover a controversial rape trial for the next season of her show. On her way to Neapolis, she receives a mysterious note from a stranger, asking for her help to solve her sixteen year old sister’s murder from twenty-five years ago. As the trial reaches its climax, so does the mystery around the young girl’s long-forgotten death.
In My Book
I didn’t know much about The Night Swim going into it, other than that the main character was the host of a true crime podcast. Considering such podcasts make up the majority of my Spotify playlists, I had a feeling this could be the book for me. It certainly delivered – there was mystery, conflict and, in the end, good won over evil.
Unlike most mystery novels, this one was more of a slow burn. The intertwining plots slowly unraveled. The point that was supposed to be the climax didn’t hit as hard as I expected it to. I was surprised by who the “villain” turned out to be, though I guess if I thought hard about it I probably could have guessed, but the scene itself wasn’t as shocking as I was hoping or expecting.
I also had trouble connecting to the main character. It felt like she could have been more developed. Again, maybe I missed something, but I didn’t understand her motivation behind her podcast show or her deep desire to solve Jenny’s murder. I didn’t dislike the character of Rachel, but I didn’t feel the connection to her that I was expecting. I felt it more so with Hannah, the secondary character, than Rachel.
By the previous three paragraphs, it may sound as if I didn’t enjoy this book. But I really did! Megan Goldin did an incredible job of delving into the complex topic of rape and sexual assault. At times, it hit so close to home that I had to take breaks from reading because it was so emotional. It’s difficult to explore such themes in a respectful but honest way, yet Goldin did just that.
The Night Swim pushed me outside of my reading comfort zone, which is exactly what I was hoping it would do. As a lover of all things romance, I have trouble accepting endings that aren’t happily ever afters. But that’s not reality. In order to grow as a writer, I know I need to expand my horizons and read new and interesting perspectives. I learned a lot from reading The Night Swim and I’ll carry those lessons into my future writings.
To Close The Book
I received my copy of The Night Swim fromBook of the Month (affiliate link – get your copy for $5!) as my second month in a three-month gift subscription from my friendSalina last August. As excited as I was about the gift subscription, Salina sent it just as I was hitting a four-month slump where I was only able to finish one audiobook and no traditional books. Ugh!
Once I started to ramp up my reading again in late December, I knew The Night Swim needed to be high on my next reads list. Crime novels are one of my favorite genres, after romance of course, and when you add a true crime podcaster to the mix, I knew this book would be up my alley!
Based on the book jacket description, I’m not sure if I would have picked this book on my own. But that’s the beauty of Book of the Month and other similar book subscriptions – they help you find your way to a story you may not have read otherwise.
Happy Monday, Wordos! I have some positivity quotes to share with you today, but first I wanted to get a few things off of my chest.
I have a lot on my mind this week but I’m having trouble finding the words to convey it. Ever feel that way?
First, I wanted to touch on the name change of this Monday series. I initially entitled my quote series “Monday Mantras”, hoping to share inspirational quotes to inspire writers and readers alike. As I pondered on it after the first post went live, I realized I didn’t know the source of the word “mantra”. There was a niggling feeling in my brain that perhaps there was a deeper meaning to the word beyond something akin to catchphrase, which is how I had defined it.
A Google search confirmed my suspicions. “Mantra” isn’t a casual word to be thrown around. No, in fact, it is a sacred word. Per Wikipedia, a mantra “is a sacred utterance, a numinous sound, a syllable, word or phonemes, or group of words in Sanskrit believed by practitioners to have religious, magical or spiritual powers in Hinduism.”
I quickly realized that in search of an alliteration, I had selected a word that I didn’t have a right to use so casually. Upon realization of my mistake, I have changed this series to “Monday Motivation”. I didn’t want to just sweep this under the rug, however. I wanted to show that as good as an ally I try to be, I still have a lot to learn.
Over the past year, I have been trying to educate myself on my own privilege and cultural appropriation. It is important to me to learn how to be the best ally possible. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be. But I promise that I will continue to put in the work to be better.
Another topic I want to touch upon is the state of affairs in my country. I don’t often make political statements, because I know I am not well-versed enough in the complexities of politics and social issues to do so. However, I know that silence can be viewed as acceptance or support of the wrongdoers.
I want to say unequivocally that I believe in equality, justice, and progress. These last four years have been like watching a horror show, except that it’s all real. I am excited beyond words for this week’s Inauguration and hopeful that my country can finally move forward, rather than backward. There is much work to be done, changes to be made, and justice to be sought.
Thank you for your patience with me as I sort through how to explain my profound beliefs. It is hard for me to find the right words as it is, but a fear of saying the wrong thing constantly holds me back. I’m working toward finding my voice and appreciate your support along the way.
Now, on to the positivity quotes!
From one Wordo to another, thanks for tuning in! See you next time!
I recently joined a writing group with other women around my age. As most of us were feeling uninspired in the new year, we decided to each pick a theme for the five weeks to try to jumpstart our mojo. I had first pick, and I chose “red”
Growing up, shades of pink and purple were my staples. My bedroom wall was painted bubblegum pink as a child, light purple as a teenager. I boasted hot pink casts for my tibia torsion as a baby. My love of all things Barney, especially the sweater my Nana knit for me, could have been related to the fact that he was a big purple dinosaur. The “princess dresses” my Nana sewed for me often featured at least one shade of pink. I wore my shiny purple dance studio jacket with pride. Those two colors imbued my childhood.
I had never considered what it was that I liked about those colors. They were just always there, so I assumed they were my favorites. It wasn’t a thought really, just a fact. I didn’t realize that we have the option to choose our favorite color. I thought it was just instinct. What color you wore the most. What color your room was painted. Or what color paired well with your skin tone, hair, and eyes, etc. It felt like the color picked you more than you chose it.
Then in high school, a class discussion changed my perspective entirely.
I’m not even sure what class it was, because the teacher who led the discussion wasn’t one of mine. Perhaps he was a substitute teacher or covering study hall, who knows. Mr. Lowe was a religion teacher at my Catholic high school and a popular coach for several of our sports teams. He was considered a “cool” teacher. Funny and charismatic, all the kids looked up to him. I remember that I was jealous that my brother had him as a teacher while I kept getting stuck with duds. (That’s a story for another day!)
After almost 15 years, I don’t recall exactly what Mr. Lowe said but here’s the gist. He started by asking all of us that question I had never before considered. Why is (color) your favorite? I must not have been the only one to not have contemplated this before, as most of the class paused in thought. Mr. Lowe explained that his favorite color was yellow. He related it to a stoplight in some way. Yellow is steady, constant, cautionary. Yellow makes you pause and think before you act. Yellow is the shining light that leads the way. For Mr. Lowe, yellow was a reminder to slow down and enjoy life rather than rushing through.
At that moment, I knew my favorite color had to be red.
Red is commanding, without needing to prove itself. Red takes charge and earns respect from others. People are drawn to red as it exudes power and resilience. Comparing it to Mr. Lowe’s stoplight theory, when red says stop, people (mostly) listen.
Red is bold and unafraid.
I have struggled with self-doubt and self-loathing for as long as I can remember. There isn’t one memory in this overfilled brain of mine where I was confident in who I was. I never felt good enough or that I fit in. I still don’t. Bold and unafraid are two things I know I can be, but have always been too afraid and filled with fear to pursue.
Red speaks for me in ways I have not found the courage to.
Throughout my life, I’ve hidden my true feelings. I’ve deferred to the opinions and traditions of others. For most of my life, I did what I thought I should because others thought it was best. I never stood up for myself. I didn’t share my opinions when they differed from others for fear of starting conflict.
Red draws attention to itself without worrying about what others think.
A fear of being judged has held me back my entire life. I have been entirely too concerned with what people might say or think. I have allowed this to dictate my life, from my job to my clothes to exploring my creativity. Even writing this blog makes me feel like an imposter. Sharing it with friends and family only adds to that anxious feeling.
Red is who I want to be. Who I am still working on becoming. Red is my future, if I am willing to take the risk.
